“My beautiful mum was suffering from mental illness/heavy depressions
back in the eighties and took her own life in 1989 at the age of just 26, when
I was only one year old.
Today I was going through her old record collection and found a little
paper inside The Cure’s Disintegration album sleeve.
It was an old handwritten note by her with some drawings. Beautiful
painted red and purple flowers, many little hearts with my name written a
hundred times and the words: ‘there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted
more than to feel you deep in my heart’.
I immediately searched on Google and found out it are words to this
song.
I listened to it all morning. I got so close to my mum today because of
this song. These words describe how she felt, how ill she was. How she
struggled with being alive.
But it also finally tells me how much I was wanted and how much she
wanted to stay with me and see me growing up. I am sure she listened to this
song a thousand times.
She is my hero and she is free now.
This afternoon I visited her grave and brought her red and purple
flowers.
I also gave her back her Disintegration album wrapped up in plastic,
close to her where it belongs. The note is in my closet forever 7:27”.
Ed è anche così, attraverso vie inspiegabili e imprevedibili, che la
musica ristabilisce un contatto -ed anzi diventa la chiave di volta- per comprendere
un intero universo posto alla base di quel rapporto che è la madre di tutte le
connessioni; un universo di sentimenti, spesso più forti dell’umana esistenza
terrena, che una persona ha voluto affidare al testo di un canzone, alla sua
melodia, certa –pur preda di sofferenza- che chi doveva comprenderlo avrebbe
avuto modo di raccogliere e farsene testimone con amorevole stupore ed in
filiale riconoscenza.
The
note is in my closet forever 7:27
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